| Yep; I ate yesterday. I don't even want to talk about it. It was a huge mistake. They dropped it in my lap, I'd been practically starving for almost a week.. I ate a tiny bit; and intended to stop.. but my willpower was nowhere to be found. I don't know why I feel so much guilt; it doesn't seem normal. 24 hours later I'm still repulsed by food and really bummed out about it. Like I feel like it makes the last week worthless. I don't get it.
Today's Intake:
Nothing. I can't even look at food, nor do I want to talk about it.
Tomorrow's my weigh-in/measurement day and I'm dreading it. I ruined my week.
and I'm feeling really down; hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better and I'll give a thinspo update and update thinstruction.
I feel like too much of a failure to give weightloss tips right now.
On another note, Lost was amazing. :]
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| I fucking hate when people come to my house and want to eat;
"let's go get this.."
"Nah, I don't feel well."
"Wait, but you LOVE (insert food). It'll make you feel better..."
"No, really. I'm pretty broke right now; i can't afford to go out."
"Oh, no, don't worry about that! I'll get it this time."
FUCK YOU.
Seriously, that's nice.
But god damn; I DON'T want to eat.
Take a hint.
Please let me get out of this. Please.
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| I can and will break the 138 plateau;
so help me God.
I just want to be out of the 130's. I'll feel so much better about myself. I won't be done, by any means (i'm 5'2; my UGW is between 94-96); but it'll be so much easier from there..
18lbs to 120.
38lbs. to 100.
44lbs until I'm perfect.
My hair is growing; it's an inch past my collar bone, and my bangs are past the tip of my nose (and a LOT of the black is fading into a medium-ish brown). It'll probably grow another .75" or even an inch before I bleach it and put my extensions in; which gives me a little wiggle room (because I'll probably have to cut off at least a half inch of dead shit to get it to blend). I think I'm looking forward to being blonde again almost as much as I'm looking forward to being skinny again. I need to start tanning; i need to be super dark by the time I hit 110 (I'm doing my extensions at 110lbs).
Todays a 200 calorie day; eat only what I need to exercise a little lot; I'm going to do 15 minute intervals on the treadmill until I can't walk (even though my legs are sore from the extra hour I ran frantically Monday night after my parents brought me food). I need to get past this plateau before it discourages me and I get super pissed off and eat.
Maybe I could even be at 136 by tomorrow if I work hard enough.
Ugh, dream big fat ass.
OMG OMG OMG
I TOTALLY FORGOT;
THREE HOURS OF LOST TONIGHT:::;
Naveen Andrews (aka Sayid) makes me die. For Real. So HOT.
[/me acting like a little kid&huge nerd combined]
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| Well, I had a slight fuck up last night. My parents went out to dinner and stopped by on their way home; with dinner for me. Chili's. They brought me a chicken crisper kids meal and an order of southwest eggrolls... my favorites. And House was on; so they stayed to watch it with me (i love love love them, btw). Well, I couldn't be rude. I said I'd already ate, and ate one eggroll and one chicken crisper (310 calories, total) and said I'd eat the rest later; but inside I was dying because I've been doing SO well... So after they left I just jumped on the treadmill for 40-45ish minutes with the incline up at 2.5MPH; burned about 370 calories; I would have went longer, but there was nothing good on TV and I was so tired; I was about to go to sleep when my parents showed up. But i still lost half a pound yesterday. So I'm not too horribly angry.
I woke up in the middle of the night, couldn't fall back asleep until 10am-ish, so I SLEPT THROUGH THE FUCKING INAUGURATION.Like, you couldn't possibly understand how upset that makes me; I almost cried when I woke up at 2pm. I've been SO looking forward to that; I ♥ OBAMA; like you wouldn't believe (P.S. Even though I smoke, I ain't mad atcha for the tax hike on cigs. I'll survive, baby, it's okay. You're lucky you're so damn cute). Yeah, I have a minor crush on the president. Fuck off.
New goal; I'm going to start setting aside $25 a day, like, separate from the rest of my money to go towards my weight-loss goal rewards; which won't be hard at all since I haven't been going to the bars to out to dinner with friends(or on fucking expensive ass roadtrips - so much fun, though) lately.
Also I made some modifications to my layout; Added some boxes, redid some boxes. New background, new colors. I needed bright colors; pastel colors SO aren't me; i couldn't handle them anymore.
FUCK; I JUST FLIPPED THROUGH THE CHANNELS AND IT'S ON RIGHT NOWWWWW!!!!!
INTAKE:
Today's a one hundred calorie day; so it's all green apples and celery.
(my stomach is grumbling already..)
WORKOUT:
Leg Lifts - 4 sets of 25.
30 minutes cardio; 270 calories.
buns of steel (P.S. I hate Tamilee Webb)
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